A case of the Mondays...

Ever feel like the whole world (and by whole world I mean 120 students) is actually TRYING to annoy you? Every question, every sound, every look.... I have a HUGE case of the Mondays. Ten minutes into first period today I had already yelled at two kids (one for saying "that's f***ed up to the kid next to him b/c he smacked him) and taken one into the hall for calling me a liar in front of the entire class b/c I wouldn't accept his vocabulary homework late. There are just some days that I don't feel cut out for this for very long. I try to remind myself that they are just children. They have SO many insecurities and fears and are all trying to keep up appearances (as am I!)... but there are days when it's hard to look past the attitude, disrespect, ungratefulness, lack of motivation and responsibility and remember that I am making a difference, even if they don't realize it and I can't see it.
And NO I did not spend my entire weekend grading the make-up work that YOU didn't turn in the first time around. I'll get to it when I have a chance this time around.

"Chillax Ms."

When I decided to get my teaching degree and brave the world of high schoolers... I felt fairly confident that I was still young enough to be able to relate to my students on their level and that I was maybe only a few cool points behind most of them. Well, I found myself sorely mistaken last week in front of 30 15 year olds. I can't even remember what we were discussing but all I know is I got flustered/frustrated, was probably trying to do 12 things at once, mustered up all my courageous coolness... and blurted out, "guys, can you please take, like, a calm down pill or something...." Immediately I heard it play back in my mind... "a calm down pill??" Seriously? Please tell me that didn't come out of my mouth. But, unfortunately, it did... and in the next second 28 of the 30 burst out laughing AT me (no, not with me) while the class clown proudly informed me that it's called a "chill pill," not a "calm down pill." Thus came the harsh realization that no, I am not "chill" and I definitely need to learn how to "chillax."

On another note, I'm home sick today for the first time this year. I went to school this morning thinking a stomach bug would pass... but it did not and an angel in the form of a substitute showed up before first period even started and relieved me of my daily saving the world duties. Aside from the occasional fearful thought for the sub, I have thoroughly enjoyed laying on my couch today and nursing myself back to physical and mental health. It's amazing what one "chillaxing" day can do for the self.

"Bert's Big Thank You"... High School style

Since I won the 5:30 club on my morning radio show, the Bert Show (I recommend it to all!), I have felt especially indebted to my morning show friends for making the 30 minute drive at 5:45 less than miserable (not to mention my $100 gift card to a Buckhead restaurant!). So, when I heard they were trying to collect 375,000 letters to send to the troops before Thanksgiving I knew I wanted to help. Since I see 120something students every day, and they have to do what I tell them (theoretically), I had the bright idea of having them each write a letter of encouragement and thanks to a soldier. I have to admit, I had my concerns that they'd give me the usual "this is dumb," "can we do something fun?!" and "do i have to's"... but I must say most everyone was willing and sincere. As students were turning their letters in to me, I read through them briefly and there were many times that I had to take a deep breath and remind myself it would be VERY uncool to cry in front of my students! Much of what they wrote was so heartfelt and thoughtful, which was so encouraging to me as their teacher to watch them think of someone other than themselves and their own high school dramas. I thought I'd share a few of my favorite lines: **I tried to be true to the original spelling....sorry

"I'm a high school student and especially these days I try to be involved with God. I think the best advice I can give you is to pray"
"Thanx 4 goin across the world to defeat the bad guys. Bust a cap 4 me!"
"I'm a h.s. student writing a paper because I love to write... cough... But it's ok because I get to write to a soldier so it's a good use of time. It must suck in the desert with all the sand everywhere." (Gotta love em...)
"I wish I could help you more. God bless you guys. Or may the force be with you or whatever you beleave in."
"We love you back home and can't wait for you to return! Mr. Soldier, please stay safe."
"I honestly don't know how you do it. You change the world and what you're doing is just great and truly amazing.... Did you know that EVERY night before I go to sleep I think about my day and then I think about the future and the whole world and how the world is and it all leads to you. :) You make a difference in everything."
"Dear Soldier, You are one of the coolest people out there. I think you are way cooler than celebrities, singers, and sports athletes."
"I know keeping your head up night and day may not be easy in the environments you're in right now but I ask that you just think about the lives you are saving and have the strength to continue to fight for your/our country."
"p.s. kick their a**es and come home safe"
"A lot of people have bad things to say about the war in Iraq. I don't think they realize that the only reason that they are allowed to say that is because of the people who fight for our freedom."
"Because you are fighting so hard somewhere around the world, we can stand straight, look up at the sky, and smile. Thank you, Thank you."
"Have fun killing the bad guys, because I know I would."
"Hello fellow soldier, thank you very much for defending usa and kiling those bad people that can't play nice...p.s. if you get a chance if you can put on one of the buildings saying jacob owns this..."
"It takes an unbelievably brave man to do that. Your tombstone should be made of gold."

Teacher "Workday"

So.... teacher workdays really aren't "workdays"... nope, they are "meeting days." Thanks.

"Mees," "Miss Um," "Ms Uh....Mayfield"

So... the first 9 weeks of my first year of teaching have brought with them a number of surprises. Let me first explain the title of this blog and the post: I see 140 something students everyday, 5 periods in a row, and I know EVERY single one of their names (first AND last!). Yet still, the majority of my students can't seem to remember my name as anything other than "Mees" or "Miss," the occasional "Miss Um..." (indicating an attempt at recalling their favorite, and obviously most memorable teacher's name before leaving it at the 'Um' and continuing on with a ridiculous excuse for not having homework or daring to ask when I announced the quiz I'm about to give), and every so often the music to my ears: "Miss Uh... Mayfield?"... ding ding ding! You are the first one today to recognize the fact that, yes, I DO have a name. Next time lose the "uh" and the obvious question mark in your tone and I might shed a tear. I guess expecting my students to learn my name (only one out of 7 they have to learn each year) was a far too lofty goal. Thus, next year I will be Ms. Um Mayfield officially (a minor attempt to make myself feel more important).
The beginning of my first year of teaching has been as emotional, tiring, stressful, overwhelming, frustrating, and rewarding/wonderful as anyone ever warned me it would be. I've cried for my students, because of my students, and in spite of my students. But I've also laughed, a lot. And learned even more. Most notably, I am not nearly as cool as I thought I was in the eyes of 15 year olds. But, the Lord continues to give me patience, energy, and a growing ability to love the oftentimes unlovable. For now... Ms. Um :)